Monday, March 2, 2009

No Go

On Saturday morning our Doctor called to say that 2 of our 4 embryos had deteriorated: 4 less 2 equals 2. Of those two, one was borderline acceptable and the other was not much better. He gave us a 5% chance of pregnancy if we transferred that day (which was day 3) We opted to hold off until day 5 (today) - this morning's call confirmed that the final two had arrested leaving none to transfer. He's calling it "a serious egg issue". We're calling it "the end of the road". Adoption, here we come ...

There's really not much left to say ... we're clearly disappointed, but we're surprisingly okay. We went into this knowing our odds were pretty grim. Even though we've fallen on the less desirable side of the fence, we at least have some certainty ... our goal is to get educated about adoption and move forward in the weeks ahead. We're expecting it to be an adventure, certain to have its own ups and downs, but at least at the end of it we will be parents, and will be able to give a great life to somebody who might otherwise have had to grow up in difficult circumstances.

As for this blog, I'm going to retire it and start a new one with more details on the journey we are about to begin ... more to come later, but for those of you who have read, commented and encouraged, thank you. I hope your path ends as you hope it to.

16 comments:

birdsandsquirrels said...

Oh, Joe, I am so sorry that this IVF cycle did not turn out well for you guys. I've been reading along, but not really commenting, but I had to write and say that I have been crossing my fingers for you, and I am so sad to hear the results of this cycle. It sounds like you guys are handling it really well and are looking forward to adopting. I know you both will be wonderful parents. Please do let us know the address of your new blog. I want to continue reading about your new adventure. Thank you for providing a male perspective of this whole process.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry.

You two will be great parents. I can't wait to follow you on this adventure.

kjames106 said...

So sorry to hear this news!!!! You will be in my prayers. I pray that God gives you the family that you whole-heartedly desire!

Anonymous said...

Oh Joe,
I am so sorry this did not work out for you guys. You and your wife are lucky to have each other and you will make great parents some day. I hope you let us keep following your journey, I love your blog.

itsazooaroundhere said...

Hi Joe,
I'm so sorry. Even though you knew the chances were on the low side it still must be very hard for you both.

Good luck to you as you begin on the adoption journey, and I hope that you find great happiness with your future family!

I've really appreciated your perspective on everything (sometimes I imagine that my husband says about me the things you say about your wife). Please let us know your new address so we can cheer you on.

Best, Betsy

Lisa said...

Joe, I'm so sorry to read this. I know how heartbreaking it is to have to change your mindset about how you are going to become a parent. I wish you nothing but the best of luck as you embark on adoption and I hope to continue reading about your journey. The male perspective is wonderful!

Xbox4NappyRash said...

Joe, I'm truly sorry this hasn't worked for you two.

Your attitude and willingness to discuss these things are as impressive as they are important.

I hope you take the time to discuss your plans and options, and make the decisions that will make you happy.

I wish you both the best.
-Martin

SAH_mommy2three said...

I have some great Michigan adoption resources... if you want the details let me know...

Kristen

Smoochie said...

Im so sorry.
But please dont abandon us! I check your blog almost everyday (not to say I leave a comment or not). So please keep us updated. I look forward to following your journey. Though I hope it's a short one!

orodemniades said...

Oh, I'm sorry to hear this news. And yet, I'm glad your journey to children continues. Take care.

Anonymous said...

I am so sorry this cycle did not turn out as everyone was hoping. You and your wife will be great parents to any children. Looking forward to following you on the adoption journey :)

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I am so sorry this did not perform out for you folks. You and your spouse are fortunate to have each other and you will are excellent mother and father some day. I wish you let us keep following your voyage, I really like your site.

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