tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post4299770525590842357..comments2023-10-18T07:23:53.731-07:00Comments on IVF - A Husband's Perspective: Cooper (and next steps)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-88311825872258048812008-12-04T03:12:00.000-08:002008-12-04T03:12:00.000-08:00Thanks for the comment Catherine - sorry to hear y...Thanks for the comment Catherine - sorry to hear you're in the same boat, but welcome aboard (I'm sure you've read around the web and found the staggering number of infertility blogs out there) <BR/><BR/>Not sure what to recommend for your husband ... everyone's different, so not sure what it will take to convince him. For me, it was the diagnosis from the Doctor, and the intense disappointment from my wife at each month's failure. As you've read, we trusted our first Doctor, but always had an uneasy feeling about him. He is an IVF doctor. Not a fertility specialist (disclaimer: this is completely my opinion) I wish we would have gotten a second opinion prior to diving right in to IVF, from a Doctor more focused on the process of exploring the issues, rather than going right for the highest margin option available. But I digress.... maybe that first Doctor was right - after all, we're still not pregnant ...<BR/><BR/>Have your husband read some blogs. There's a great listing at <A HREF="http://stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Sperm Palace Jesters</A>If it's a financial issue (which it was for us, until I took a new, higher paying job) then your options might be limited. <A HREF="http://www.maybebabyblog.com/" REL="nofollow">Maybe Baby</A> just released a book, from a male's point of view. Looks like they are pregnant. We have a copy of "A Few Good Eggs" that we read together before going into IVF, and we bought a copy of "The Infertility Cure", but didn't really stick to it (actually, not even close)<BR/><BR/><A HREF="http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">XBox4NAppyRash</A> (linked from my site) is my favorite male-written blog out there - funny, and insightful. <BR/><BR/>Good luck, and thanks for reading (and commenting)Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027194643290267909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-83800297063339839502008-12-04T02:22:00.000-08:002008-12-04T02:22:00.000-08:00Joe,I am really pleased to read your blog. My husb...Joe,<BR/>I am really pleased to read your blog. My husband and I are facing IVF, except hubby is totally opposed at this point in time. I am sure I don't have to explain to anyone reading this the complex emotions that occur in infertility. I wanted to ask you if there were any references/ books you would recommend that I could get him to read that night open our discussions? I don't want to pressure him towards this, but we have to be able to talk about it to work through it... We are also looking into adoption.<BR/>Thanks, CatherineAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-78687127004946793762008-07-22T15:09:00.000-07:002008-07-22T15:09:00.000-07:00We went through 4 Ivf cycles w/ Dr. Shamma. AFter...We went through 4 Ivf cycles w/ Dr. Shamma. AFter the 1st failed cycle we asked him to do a uterine biopsy to which he replied something like" it doesn't matter cuz i can't give you a new uterus"... AFter the 4th attempt, we got a 2nd opinion from dr. schoolcraft in denver. we did the biopsy and my wife was missing an enzyme. she took meds for 2 months and we just did another transfer 4 days ago.. We find out on sunday if it worked... CCRM is awesome. I highly recommend... Although we are from michigan, the travel wasnt that bad and they get you great hotel rates....Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-16141639555834994482007-12-05T07:17:00.000-08:002007-12-05T07:17:00.000-08:00Don't feel too bad, Joe. Your gut feelings are le...Don't feel too bad, Joe. Your gut feelings are legitimate. But I think it is a good idea to bring your concerns to Shamma. Like I mentioned, we always felt better after we did. <BR/><BR/>Our cycle nurses were relatively cool, too, but we've caught them messing up a couple times. I suppose it's to be expected with the number of patients they see, but on the other hand we're spending a ton of dough on them getting us pregnant, so it's reasonable to have some expectation that they will give us correct information.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, I also think with the amount you're investing...financially, emotionally, time, it's a fine idea to get a second opinion. If we weren't so far into this, we probably would do the same, but I feel like we're at the "no turning back" stage. <BR/><BR/>Good luck!Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02248665952867223815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-51674993009219233162007-12-04T14:09:00.000-08:002007-12-04T14:09:00.000-08:00Thanks for the comments - I'm obviously getting so...Thanks for the comments - I'm obviously getting some mis-information about the post-IVF failure Progesterone thing ... my bad. <BR/><BR/>I'm sort of feeling bad for ripping on Dr. Shamma. If / when we move ahead with our second round, we will definitely take our issues up with his office (in a kind, respectful way) If nothing else I hope it will help them to improve (how can anyone get better without such feedback?)<BR/><BR/>Our cycle nurse was pretty cool actually (Erin) - she always had a very genuine demeanor, and was very nice during all of our procedures - always willing to answer questions ... <BR/><BR/>Still haven't made my appointment with Oakwood ... on my list of things to do for tomorrow.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01027194643290267909noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-83375200282512282462007-12-04T08:29:00.000-08:002007-12-04T08:29:00.000-08:00Cooper is ADORABLE. I've never heard that fertili...Cooper is ADORABLE. <BR/><BR/>I've never heard that fertility is increased immediately following an IVF cycle.<BR/><BR/>Have you read "A Couple's Guide to IVF"? I highly recommend it. I also recommend Adoption Associates. I think they have a location near you. A domestic adoption costs right around $20K, but you can offset your expenses with a federal and state tax credit. Some employers also reimburse for adoption expenses. Foreign adoptions can be more costly and time consuming, but you'll want to weigh all your options. Please let me know if you have any questions.<BR/><BR/>Again, sorry about your experience with Shamma. I wonder if part of it isn't the clinic's nurses? It doesn't sound like they are communicating much with them. Have you shared your concerns? It might be worth a call. Of course, having gone through 2 failed cycles, we've had concerns along the way that have been alleviated after we've pushed the issue. <BR/><BR/>IVF really just comes down to a numbers game at the end of the day. It sucks.Tracyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02248665952867223815noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-5413600941044342342007-12-03T15:11:00.000-08:002007-12-03T15:11:00.000-08:00"...that doesn't mean everyone comes home with a c..."...that doesn't mean everyone comes home with a child..."<BR/><BR/>Brain goes too fast for the fingers sometimes.I_Sell_Bookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08047786558604545391noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1790368997436528274.post-49994689195546865872007-12-03T15:09:00.000-08:002007-12-03T15:09:00.000-08:00Er, Progesterone is not high after IVF - the drugs...Er, Progesterone is <I>not</I> high after IVF - the drugs suck natural progesterone right out of the body, that's why you take progesterone pessaries or PIO shots for the two weeks until your blood test, and if you test positive, for 12-14 weeks after that. Ah, fun times.<BR/><BR/>Wow, the more you talk about Dr Shamma, the more horrified I've become. It's not that the clinic is bad, but their lack of attention to the 'details' is, uh, well, words can't express my feelings on the subject. Unless 'are you freaking kidding me?!?!?' works for you, along with some expletives.<BR/><BR/>I can't recall, did you do IVF with ICSI and Assisted Hatching? If they didn't do ICSI at the very least, well, again with the expletives.<BR/><BR/>As for pricing, that's different from clinic to clinic. I can tell you that we paid $10642 for IVF, ICSI, AH, egg storage for 1 year, plus labs and monitoring. Drugs cost around $1100.<BR/><BR/>Adoption, unless you're going through foster care, generally costs around $20K, international costs more due to travel costs, and, uh, stuff of that nature. And, there's no guarantee. Let me rephrase, the chances of coming home with a child are of course much higher than ART, but that doesn't mean that everyone does. Keep in mind that many countries (China, frex) do not consider things such as Autism or other disorders to be a health issue.<BR/><BR/>While Mr Oro and I always considered adoption, to be honest we no longer have the money to do so. In fact, doing FET and another IVF would be cheaper.<BR/><BR/>OroI_Sell_Bookshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08047786558604545391noreply@blogger.com