My wife got a positive ovulation test this morning - she is going in to the Doctor's office at 10:00 a.m. for an ultrasound, where I think they will detect the presence, or lack of a follicle(s). Then we have sex (woohoo!) then my wife goes back in to see if any of the sperm survived (post coital)
Enlightenment in the next 72 hours (just a little)
UPDATE: 11:18 A.M. - Turns out my wife has mature, normal-looking follicle(s) ready to go! So, we have to get up at 3 a.m. to "do it", then she goes into the office at 10:00 a.m. to check if anything is still swimming. Not sure how quickly they can assess this, but I would guess an update will come before tomorrow ends.
Monday, February 11, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
My Mom - Fertility Specialist
Here's my mother's advice about our infertility situation:
Good point Mom - they probably haven't thought of that. I'll be sure to mention that at our next consultation.
"Why can't your Doctor take a bunch of your sperm and put them up in there by the eggs so they get fertilized?"
Good point Mom - they probably haven't thought of that. I'll be sure to mention that at our next consultation.
Thursday, February 7, 2008
Vitamins
Here's the vitamin schedule I'm currently on - my wife had to go out and buy me the biggest Monday through Sunday pill box they had at CVS (and is it ever convenient - I highly recommend!)
Gingko Biloba
Ginseng
Multi-Vitamin (Target One-A-Day male formula)
Fish Oil
L-Carnitine
L-Arginine
Zinc
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
Vitamin B12
Selenium
Beta Carotene
I take one pill of each vitamin / mineral / herb from this list every day. I have exact measurements for each, if anyone is interested. This is all supposed to have some sort of positive impact on my sperm, according to the book "The Infertility Cure" - the book actually recommends I take twice as much of each vitamin as I am currently taking, but I figure that's overkill. This is an absurd amount of pills to take already, and the theory of "something is better than nothing" has to hold true here. I'm hoping it leads to better / more sperm, and ultimately a pregnancy I don't notice anything different yet. Sperm is still white, sex is still fun. If nothing else, it should aid in overall good health.
Here's the funny part - my wife got a bladder infection a few weeks ago and she thinks it because I'm taking too many vitamins!
Gingko Biloba
Ginseng
Multi-Vitamin (Target One-A-Day male formula)
Fish Oil
L-Carnitine
L-Arginine
Zinc
Vitamin C
Vitamin E
Vitamin B12
Selenium
Beta Carotene
I take one pill of each vitamin / mineral / herb from this list every day. I have exact measurements for each, if anyone is interested. This is all supposed to have some sort of positive impact on my sperm, according to the book "The Infertility Cure" - the book actually recommends I take twice as much of each vitamin as I am currently taking, but I figure that's overkill. This is an absurd amount of pills to take already, and the theory of "something is better than nothing" has to hold true here. I'm hoping it leads to better / more sperm, and ultimately a pregnancy I don't notice anything different yet. Sperm is still white, sex is still fun. If nothing else, it should aid in overall good health.
Here's the funny part - my wife got a bladder infection a few weeks ago and she thinks it because I'm taking too many vitamins!
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Stage Fright
A post completely unrelated to infertility follows -
Just returned from a trip to the rest room where I caused a young gentleman to have a case of stage fright. This restroom has two urinals and two stalls. Normally when there are only two urinals and one is occupied, a polite guy will take one of the stalls instead of the lone open urinal. It's just awkward to relieve yourself so close to another man. Unfortunately, I was already committed to the urinal before I could fully process the situation and react accordingly. Rather than make an awkward retreat to the stall, I decided to tough it out at the second of two urinals.
I stepped up hoping that I would not seize up myself. During the initial seconds of the pee, I tried to relax and just let things flow. I've had stage fright myself a few times, mostly at Michigan State football games where there are huge troughs that the guys line up at and let er rip. Today I was fortunate to experience good flow in relatively short order, but I couldn't help but notice the fellow next to me was not producing. The bathroom we were in is particularly small. It's quiet and cramped in there ... so when one is not doing what he's supposed to do at the urinal, the lack of sound makes it painfully obvious to everyone in the vicinity. To help the guy out, I tried looking around, acting all nonchalant, while pushing harder in an effort to shorten my stay ... I almost wanted to urge him to relax, and give him a bit of a pep talk. He just hung in there (no pun intended) and waited until I wrapped up and left. In the past when afflicted with this problem, I've simply packed up, acting like I had gone, opting to hold it for a little while longer, immediately retreating to a bathroom on another floor, or in another part of the building. I hope this poor guy has managed to finish by now. What a brave soldier he is to see his task through to completion. Admirable.
Just returned from a trip to the rest room where I caused a young gentleman to have a case of stage fright. This restroom has two urinals and two stalls. Normally when there are only two urinals and one is occupied, a polite guy will take one of the stalls instead of the lone open urinal. It's just awkward to relieve yourself so close to another man. Unfortunately, I was already committed to the urinal before I could fully process the situation and react accordingly. Rather than make an awkward retreat to the stall, I decided to tough it out at the second of two urinals.
I stepped up hoping that I would not seize up myself. During the initial seconds of the pee, I tried to relax and just let things flow. I've had stage fright myself a few times, mostly at Michigan State football games where there are huge troughs that the guys line up at and let er rip. Today I was fortunate to experience good flow in relatively short order, but I couldn't help but notice the fellow next to me was not producing. The bathroom we were in is particularly small. It's quiet and cramped in there ... so when one is not doing what he's supposed to do at the urinal, the lack of sound makes it painfully obvious to everyone in the vicinity. To help the guy out, I tried looking around, acting all nonchalant, while pushing harder in an effort to shorten my stay ... I almost wanted to urge him to relax, and give him a bit of a pep talk. He just hung in there (no pun intended) and waited until I wrapped up and left. In the past when afflicted with this problem, I've simply packed up, acting like I had gone, opting to hold it for a little while longer, immediately retreating to a bathroom on another floor, or in another part of the building. I hope this poor guy has managed to finish by now. What a brave soldier he is to see his task through to completion. Admirable.
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Pretty Fortunate
I am Catholic. So is my wife. In times of difficulty I tend to turn to my faith for strength - it provides comfort and raises hope for better days. After a brief hiatus following our failed IVF cycle, my wife and I have recently begun going to church again and I'm incredibly relieved that we have.
With this year's Ash Wednesday my wife and I enter a Lenten season that will have a much more profound meaning for us than any year in the past. We are going through the biggest trial of our lives, and I know much soul searching, praying and questioning await us. I think we're fortunate that this is the hardest thing we've ever had to deal with, and I hope we can keep that in perspective as we finish writing our story. Things could be so much worse, and there are people out there dealing with things that make our little issue of infertility look minuscule and insignificant. More than anything, I hope we come out the other end stronger than when we entered. I have a lot of confidence we will, and I think we'll get started on that journey in earnest this week as we go into Lent.
An interesting e-mail forward I once read is below (not sure if the figures are 100% accurate, but it's interesting to note how fortunate we are just to live in this country)
If the world were a village of 100 people:
60 would be Asian
12 European
5 US American and Canadian
8 Latin American
14 African
49 would be female
51 would be male
82 would be non-white
18 white
89 heterosexual
11 homosexual
33 would be Christian
67 would be non-Christian
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
80 would live in substandard housing
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
67 would be unable to read
1 (only one) would have a college education.
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
33 would be without access to a safe water supply
1 would have HIV
1 near death
7 people would have access to the Internet
I don't see anything on that list about infertility ... probably didn't make the cut (was beat out by "substandard housing", "unable to read" and "HIV")
There are worse things ...
With this year's Ash Wednesday my wife and I enter a Lenten season that will have a much more profound meaning for us than any year in the past. We are going through the biggest trial of our lives, and I know much soul searching, praying and questioning await us. I think we're fortunate that this is the hardest thing we've ever had to deal with, and I hope we can keep that in perspective as we finish writing our story. Things could be so much worse, and there are people out there dealing with things that make our little issue of infertility look minuscule and insignificant. More than anything, I hope we come out the other end stronger than when we entered. I have a lot of confidence we will, and I think we'll get started on that journey in earnest this week as we go into Lent.
An interesting e-mail forward I once read is below (not sure if the figures are 100% accurate, but it's interesting to note how fortunate we are just to live in this country)
If the world were a village of 100 people:
60 would be Asian
12 European
5 US American and Canadian
8 Latin American
14 African
49 would be female
51 would be male
82 would be non-white
18 white
89 heterosexual
11 homosexual
33 would be Christian
67 would be non-Christian
5 would control 32% of the entire world’s wealth, and all of them would be US citizens
80 would live in substandard housing
24 would not have any electricity (And of the 76% that do have electricity, most would only use it for light at night.)
67 would be unable to read
1 (only one) would have a college education.
50 would be malnourished and 1 dying of starvation
33 would be without access to a safe water supply
1 would have HIV
1 near death
7 people would have access to the Internet
I don't see anything on that list about infertility ... probably didn't make the cut (was beat out by "substandard housing", "unable to read" and "HIV")
There are worse things ...
Monday, February 4, 2008
Pictures
I was looking at some photos on my cell phone and I came across a few of my wife from the day of her egg retrieval. She's wearing a hair net, hospital smock and a dazed, anesthesia-induced smile. To think of how excited she was by the prospect of becoming pregnant, and how devastated she would be weeks after upon receipt of a negative result breaks my heart.
The day I asked my father-in-law for permission to propose to my wife, he told me that while he loves all of his children equally, my wife holds a very special place in her parent's hearts. Having been with her for almost 5 years now, and seeing the look on her face in these photos, I can see a glimpse of how her Dad views her. She is sweet, pure and vulnerable. She depends on the people she loves, and she is easily hurt. These photos say it all, and it breaks my heart to think of how optimistic she was in them. She was right on the threshold of one of her biggest life dreams - becoming a mother. To think that I even have video footage of her arriving at and leaving the clinic from the day of our embryo transfer - needless to say, we haven't watched it.
In any situation I can control, I have no doubt of my abilities to give my wife whatever she wants. Engagement ring? Bigger house? More money? No problem - I will do whatever it takes and go as far as I have to in order to make her happy. I don't mean that to sound arrogant - I mean only to demonstrate my dedication to my wife, and to our marriage. I think that is simply the cost of entry as a husband. In the world of infertility, however, one's control over the situation is completely stripped. You can take vitamins, stop drinking, procreate at the right times, but it all is still up to faith and chance. You can't "hope" for good sperm and have them magically appear. I hate this lack of control. It is a horrible feeling, especially when it has such a dire impact on the woman I love more than anyone in the world.
I hope my wife can one day have the same sense of optimism and hope that she had in the photos from the day of our embryo transfer. I can't make her feel that way, and it certainly isn't happening at the pace I would like it to, but I can support her, and do my best to be understanding of the way in which she handles this difficult process, for as long as it takes. At the end of all this we will be stronger as individuals, and as a married couple, and we will be parents. There are many hurdles to cross between here and there, but we'll get through it and I'll be there for my wife every step of the way, and at the end I'll take a cell-phone picture of my wife holding our baby.
The day I asked my father-in-law for permission to propose to my wife, he told me that while he loves all of his children equally, my wife holds a very special place in her parent's hearts. Having been with her for almost 5 years now, and seeing the look on her face in these photos, I can see a glimpse of how her Dad views her. She is sweet, pure and vulnerable. She depends on the people she loves, and she is easily hurt. These photos say it all, and it breaks my heart to think of how optimistic she was in them. She was right on the threshold of one of her biggest life dreams - becoming a mother. To think that I even have video footage of her arriving at and leaving the clinic from the day of our embryo transfer - needless to say, we haven't watched it.
In any situation I can control, I have no doubt of my abilities to give my wife whatever she wants. Engagement ring? Bigger house? More money? No problem - I will do whatever it takes and go as far as I have to in order to make her happy. I don't mean that to sound arrogant - I mean only to demonstrate my dedication to my wife, and to our marriage. I think that is simply the cost of entry as a husband. In the world of infertility, however, one's control over the situation is completely stripped. You can take vitamins, stop drinking, procreate at the right times, but it all is still up to faith and chance. You can't "hope" for good sperm and have them magically appear. I hate this lack of control. It is a horrible feeling, especially when it has such a dire impact on the woman I love more than anyone in the world.
I hope my wife can one day have the same sense of optimism and hope that she had in the photos from the day of our embryo transfer. I can't make her feel that way, and it certainly isn't happening at the pace I would like it to, but I can support her, and do my best to be understanding of the way in which she handles this difficult process, for as long as it takes. At the end of all this we will be stronger as individuals, and as a married couple, and we will be parents. There are many hurdles to cross between here and there, but we'll get through it and I'll be there for my wife every step of the way, and at the end I'll take a cell-phone picture of my wife holding our baby.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Work, work, work ...
Wanted to finish what I started with the last post:
Wednesday: 13 hours
Thursday: 20 hours
Friday: 12 hours
GRAND TOTAL: 85 HOURS
Needless to say, I haven't had much time to write a post ... looking forward to seeing my wife, and Cooper.
Wednesday: 13 hours
Thursday: 20 hours
Friday: 12 hours
GRAND TOTAL: 85 HOURS
Needless to say, I haven't had much time to write a post ... looking forward to seeing my wife, and Cooper.
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