Monday, September 29, 2008

It's happened

I've been working in consulting for over one year now, and fortunately, have managed to avoid out-of-town projects. That day has come to an end.

I was notified this morning that I will be working on a project in Stuttgart, Germany for the next 2.5 months. Ouch.

My management team has promised they'll accommodate our conception efforts ... I hope they'll follow through on it. I'll be sure they're held to it, because I'll be damned if we're going to derail our efforts for anything. My wife is a puddle of tears ... and I am on the brink myself. I knew this came with the territory of a consulting job, but was hoping I would luck out and dodge the bullet. Professionally, this will be great experience ... working internationally is something I'll need to do at one point or another. But personally, this is the last thing I'd ever want to do. I love my wife, and I enjoy her company. I like coming home to her every night, sleeping in the same bed and waking up together. For the next three months, we'll have to make do with phone conversations ... and a 6 hour time difference. There will be trips home, but they'll be much less frequent than either of us would like.

Wish us luck. The holidays will be here before you know it (hopefully)

The Aftermath

What started smoothly evolved into a bit of a mess over the weekend - literally. My wife took some of her Tylenol w/ Codine on an empty stomach. The result: vomit-inducing stomach cramps. She spent the majority of Friday evening in front of the toilet, puking. This was followed by an extreme case of constipation. Not good. With the help of Milk of Magnesia, she's managed to pull through, and is feeling much better today. I think she's through the woods now. Her incisions are healing nicely - the one on her belly button is very itchy, and the other one is a bit tender still, but other than that, she's feeling good. She's back on her feet and going about her daily routine just as she always did.

She has an appointment with Dr. M on October 13th. Not sure if they're planning to call us with the results of the lining check, or if they'll just talk to us about it at the appointment. We'll see.

That's all for now.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

End of the Tunnel?

Some random musings follow:

Now that we've been diagnosed with, and temporarily cured of endometriosis, should we get excited and hope that we can de-board the infertility bus at the next stop? I don't think so ... we've been through enough in the past two years to know that premature excitement and anticipation can be your wost enemy. Aside from "go on a vacation", the recommendation of "not caring" is the most frequently lent piece of advice we've received. Don't get me wrong - we're happy that we have a culprit at which we can point fingers, and even happier that the culprit has temporarily been handcuffed, but we're by no means convinced that Mr. endo doesn't have friends lurking in the background. But we'll see. At least we have a reason to be hopeful, and a patient, compassionate Doctor.

Might the endo have caused our IVF cycle to fail? (I've read that prostaglandins - hormones emitted by endometriosis - can interfere with implantation, essentially tricking the ovaries into thinking they're at a part of their cycle that they are not) Maybe. Doesn't really matter now, but it's hard to overlook the careless, and less-than-thorough approach of our first Doctor.

We watched the video of the procedure - you can see inside my wife's abdomen, where her uterus, tubes and other inner bits are on display. You can see the endometriosis in the form of little dark, sometimes white, marks on her ovaries and abdominal wall. Then you can see the little red laser that burns them off, leaving sear marks in their place. They also did another dye test while in there ... you can also see this on the video, as blue fluid pours from the ends of the fallopian tubes. They took a sample of my wife's uterine lining ... we'll get the results of this biopsy in a few days. I'll make my next post upon receipt of results.

As always, thanks for the comments and wishes. They are very much appreciated.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008


My wife had her laproscopy this morning (pronounced la-PROS-co-pee by one of the Doctors) The good Dr. M found stage 2 endometriosis in there, and blasted it away with his laser beam. He described endometriosis as having 4 stages, with 4 being the worst. The odds of getting pregnant are inversely related to the stage of endometriosis ... so my wife's stage 2 was not too severe, but it was enough, in the Doctor's opinion, to inhibit pregnancy.

It's a funny thing - we're thrilled that she had this disorder. If we had left with an "all clear" diagnosis, our evening would have been a long one filled with "where do we go from here?" and "what the fuck is the problem?" As it is, we are quite optimistic about our chances in the upcoming months, having just knocked down a major hurdle.

My wife will meet with the Doctor in three weeks to discuss next steps, which according to our latest meeting with him, will include shots (i.e. a "medicated" cycle)

My wife is doing very well. She is a bit tender, and groggy, but doing very well. The incisions are incredibly small - one is inside her belly button, and is hardly discernible ... the other is located a bit more south, and is ~2-3 cm across. She has some shoulder pain as some of the air they inflated her with is floating upwards. She just took her first Tylenol with Codine ... and she's having trouble peeing (I think it's in her head) Overall, she is doing well. No showering for 2 days (gross) and no sex for three days.

Anyhow, it was a successful procedure, and not nearly as difficult as my wife feared it would be. We'll keep you posted ---

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

9:30 a.m. - Tomorrow

We have to be at the hospital at 9:30 a.m. tomorrow. I'll try to post an update tomorrow evening when we get home to let you all know what we've learned (after I eat my sub)

The staff at our clinic is incredible - we received a call yesterday from the billing department. They looked into our insurance on their own, and discovered that our procedure will likely be covered! Two things are positive here: 1.) They called, 2.) They looked into the insurance coverage on their own ... I've never been to a medical office that has been so thorough. Very much appreciated, and completely unlike the first clinic we worked with. Even though we're still not pregnant, our decision to switch clinics is validated with each iteration at the new place.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Laproscopy Scheduled

I'm taking the day off work Wednesday to escort my wife to her laproscopy appointment. She met with Dr. M this morning, who described the procedure ... two small incisions will be made, just below the navel. They will go in with a camera and laser, blasting away all signs of endometriosis. While in there, the Doctor will biopsy the uterine lining to check for any abnormalities. The whole procedure will be video taped and will take 40 - 60 minutes. We will receive a copy of the video, to relive the memories every September 24th in future years (I'll be making popcorn) After the procedure the Doctor will describe the results to me while my wife spends an hour in recovery. We will then go home for an easy day of relaxation. There's a great sub shop by the hospital ... I really hope we're there near lunch time so we can make a quick stop.

My wife is completely freaked out. Since it is an abdominal surgery, they will put a breathing tube down her throat - she doesn't like the idea of that so much. I keep trying to tell her that she'll be anesthetized, and will not feel a thing ... but it does little to comfort her. My poor wife - such a trooper through all of this infertility BS. I hope she knows how much I appreciate everything she's done, and her patience through all of this. She is an amazing woman. It's not fair, what she has had to deal with ... but we're hoping that this will reveal another piece of the puzzle.

Wish us luck - oh, and I guess it goes without saying - her period started late last week. No pregnancy this month.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

My Castle

I am writing this from a castle just outside Berlin. 14 hours of total travel time took me from Detroit to where I currently sit.

My German is limited to only a few words, so I am completely inept ... combine this with a reception staff who barely speaks english, and you end up in a situation like the one I'm in now. I am the only one here. I haven't eaten anything and was hoping there would be a restaurant or something ... but no such luck. I just left my room and stumbled through some dark hallways managing to find two oranges in a little room in the back of the castle. The fridge in my room had a Toblerone bar and two bottles of beer - these are becoming my dinner.

Interesting trip so far.

Update on the infertility front: My wife expects to start her period today or tomorrow ... she can just "feel it" - and she's got a very accurate sense about these things (has been 100% right so far) FYI - this Friday will mark the cycle day on which she started last month, so we're right in the ballpark. Laproscopy, here we come!

Congratulations to Tracy and Scott over at Wonder Twins - their babies were born yesterday. God knows they deserve it ...

Monday, September 15, 2008


If you've been reading me for a while, you know we sold our house a few months back, and that our old house had a track record ... well, I just heard from our realtor that the couple who bought our house are divorcing. Very sad ... they are a young couple too, not unlike my wife and I (if you consider 30 years old to be young)

I can't imagine how hard that would be ... and having just buried themselves in a mortgage while the bottom falls out of the housing market. Yikes. I will keep them in my prayers.

I Am Waiting ...

And so is my wife, for the upcoming PERIOD! (sounds and whistles here to celebrate ... wait, celebrate? Not really ...) She said she "feels like she is going to start" ... we'll see about that sometime in the next several days.

I will be spending the week in Germany for training, so my poor wife will have to suffer the letdown in an empty house. I hate that she has to be alone during a difficult time ... we've been through it, oh, 26 times or so ... but the sting never quite goes away.

Good week to all of you ... will post an update when I learn of our next steps, which will probably include an appointment with our Doctor, and the scheduling of a laproscopy. Anybody know how many months a laproscopy will put us on the bench (i.e. not TTC?) And what is it like - does it hurt? My wife, needless to say, is not overly thrilled about going under the knife ...

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Happy Birthday

... to Cooper. He's one, and is the best dog in the world.

We got him right after our IVF attempt failed - it was one year ago that we began shots for the IVF cycle. Hard to believe.

Cooper helped us through that difficult time. Getting him was the best thing we've ever done - everyone should have a Cairn Terrier.

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The #s

Count: 108 million
Motility: 60%

Let the countdown begin - and the shagging.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

IUI Round 4

Positive ovulation test this morning means a stack of porn and sterile cup in my future. Can't wait. IUI #4 is scheduled for tomorrow morning (I'm pretty sure it's number 4 ... could be off by one or two, but, does it really matter?) Same protocol as last month: Femara + IUI + Progesterone

Had a pleasant weekend - was happy to see a beer in the hand of the wife of one of my best friends (no pregnancy announcement, thank goodness) Listened to my sister complain about how hard it is to be pregnant while having a baby. It's understandable, but a bit difficult for my wife to hear as she would love to have such inconvenience in her life. This brings me to an interesting thought ...

To date, I have elected to keep this blog anonymous. The further we go down the road of struggling to get pregnant, however, the more people in our circle of family and friends are becoming aware of our issues. I have thought several times over the past week(s) that it might be interesting for them to read this blog so they would get a sense of what we're really going through. There's a lot that they still don't know ... but upon further review, I have chosen to keep it between you anonymous readers, my wife, and myself. None of my personal acquaintances (aside from a few of my wife's friends) know about this blog. If I were to make it known amongst my family and friends I would have to filter my remarks in consideration of the wide variety of readers who know my wife and I personally. The comment about my sister might get me in trouble, even though she's tough as nails, and is not afraid to speak her mind to anyone and everyone within earshot - she would probably be okay with it, but there are others that would be deeply offended, and would feel the need to comment on everything in defense of their side of the story. It calls into question the purpose of a blog like this - in my opinion, this blog is about getting our side of the story out, unfiltered, and unrefined - as I write, I don't want to worry about how anyone might react, or if feelings might be hurt. The target audience of this blog was, and continues to be people who are going through similar struggles with getting pregnant. I don't want it to become a blog to keep my family informed of where we are in our progress - there are better forums for things like that (such as phone calls, and oral communication ... imagine that) I don't think it's such a good idea to invite the family in - although reading this blog might invoke some sympathy from them, it would create an even larger amount of controversy that would only end up getting us in trouble.

And with that, I've just broken one of my rules: I've tried to strictly limit my posts to the topic of infertility, making a strong effort to avoid blogging about this blog, or blogging about not blogging enough, or blogging about lack of new topics to blog about ... and here I am blogging about why I don't like to blog about blogging. I feel so dirty.