Thursday, December 11, 2008

random thoughts

I don't care about Ricky Martin's twin sons. Anyone want to form a class action law suit for the "emotional distress" caused by this headline?

Cooper got some burs stuck in his fur last night, and decided to eat them. He was then dry heaving / coughing ... poor little guy ... such a small brain ... like father, like son.

We've decided not to talk to people who have ever had anything to do with pregnancy. That includes our parents.

This was a really nice comment:
I'm so sorry, I thought this was going to be it as well. You guys hold on tight to each other.

When my husband and I were trying and it wasn't happening, he told me that God would not put the desire in your heart to be a parent if he wasn't going to come through with it. I tried to remember that. Surely enough, His timing was perfect.

I know it's hard to find solace in the words of someone who is on the other side of the tracks now, but I pray that you have peace in your hearts and remember that God's promises are true. He would never lie.

Thanks for that kjames106

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Really disappointed

That last post was factual - she started, exactly on the day that we were supposed to call the office. Amazing how regular her cycles are. And amazing how disappointed I am. I know, I know - I was getting all proclaimy and cocky about a month ago - it was somewhat sarcastic, but it was mostly sincere - I had a really good feeling about our odds this month. Clearly that doesn't matter. So - our dilemma remains the same - I want my wife to get pregnant. I have sex with her. But she doesn't get pregnant. Doctors test her blood and look at her anatomy with ultrasonic equipment. And it still doesn't work. I've masturbated into no less than 10 plastic cups. Nothing. Young girls at front desks have taken my samples to back rooms, spun them around in circles, added some purple die, then inserted said medium into my wife - a lot! And no dice.

We're going to try another IUI this month, now that the hope is utterly and completely gone - after that, we're going to talk with the Dr. to determine next steps. We're thinking we may have come full circle with IVF again. How exciting for us.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Not this month

Merry Christmas. My wife started her period today. Did yours? Well that's nice - what's that you say? You're pregnant again? Oh, congratulations. How nice for you.

Oh, what's that? You want me to congratulate my sister who just had her second baby yesterday? Okay - I'll be sure to let her know. Oh - and yes, I will tell her that you think her other son is so cute, and that you feel bad for her having to manage two children. You're right - it must be really difficult. But yes, I'm sure she's soooo happy to not be pregnant anymore - she looked so uncomfortable!

Yes, I heard about the two cousins who happen to be sisters who are pregnant with due dates 4 days apart. That's really exciting news - really happy for them. And yes, I heard about the other cousin who had a "vanishing twin", but remains nice and pregnant with her second child. Going to be great when all those kids are running around at family functions, isn't it? I'm thinking of buying a nice pair of soccer cleats, or some spears for those occasions ... oh, you couldn't hear me? Sorry, it was nothing anyways - never mind. When are we going to start trying? Oh, you know - we'll get there soon I'm sure ... we'll keep you posted, douche bag.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Get'n ready

December 9th is the date we're counting down to - 5 days away. In recent weeks, 6 little follicles squirted their eggs into my wife's reproductive organs, to meet an angry mob of centrifugally selected, zombie-headed, tangled up sperm (mine) Somewhere in the dark we're hoping at least a pair of them combined, and that they have since embedded into the plush, downy, progesterone-fueled uterine lining. Sounds cozy in there. If I were an egg, I'd probably give one of my sperm a shot, out of sympathy, and due to a lack of a better option.

It should be noted that this batch of sperm were manufactured on German soil. No doubt this resulted in a highly precise, intelligent, demanding team of tacticians with a complete and absolute lack of sense of humor. They will march into the uterus and drive straight into the egg, but will likely go right through the other side, through the wall of the uterus to fulfill bigger ambitions, moving towards the heart or brain instead (much more strategic pieces of anatomical real estate)

There have been no funny signs or symptoms this month. We're past all of that anyways - we're too experienced to fall victim to falsely raising our hopes due to a sore nipple here, or discharge there. We just roll calmly ahead, with a sliver of hope, and a mountain of doubt, preparing for the trend to be continued. We're hopeful though (after all, I've guaranteed a pregnancy this month ... next month, I will proclaim the certainty of failure, then the month after that I will predict something in between) But really, we have reason to be optimistic about our next 4 months, given our post-endo status, detection of 6 mature follicles, and progesterone supplementation.

If it doesn't work, at least I'll be home for the holidays. I'm in the final 1.5 weeks of my German project. It has been the longest 3 months on record - and I miss my wife, and Cooper terribly. Being home will more than offset another failed month ... but it would also amplify the excitement of finally breaking through. I hope that it's the latter, and not the former. What a sweet Christmas it would be ...