Merry Christmas. My wife started her period today. Did yours? Well that's nice - what's that you say? You're pregnant again? Oh, congratulations. How nice for you.
Oh, what's that? You want me to congratulate my sister who just had her second baby yesterday? Okay - I'll be sure to let her know. Oh - and yes, I will tell her that you think her other son is so cute, and that you feel bad for her having to manage two children. You're right - it must be really difficult. But yes, I'm sure she's soooo happy to not be pregnant anymore - she looked so uncomfortable!
Yes, I heard about the two cousins who happen to be sisters who are pregnant with due dates 4 days apart. That's really exciting news - really happy for them. And yes, I heard about the other cousin who had a "vanishing twin", but remains nice and pregnant with her second child. Going to be great when all those kids are running around at family functions, isn't it? I'm thinking of buying a nice pair of soccer cleats, or some spears for those occasions ... oh, you couldn't hear me? Sorry, it was nothing anyways - never mind. When are we going to start trying? Oh, you know - we'll get there soon I'm sure ... we'll keep you posted, douche bag.