HAS BEEN A VERY LONG TIME SINCE I WROTE - here's one final post on where we are, and where we're going.
We have officially kicked off the process for adopting a child from Korea. We have chosen an agency in Troy, MI (who shall remain nameless as we're told they're not crazy about the concept of blogging) We submitted the pre-application ($50), then the formal application ($500), then the $2,000 required to get the home study started. So far it has been pretty straight forward - they sent us a big pack of paperwork to fill out - we promptly applied our script and prose, and sent it back. Data requested included financial information (assets, liabilities, income, etc.), health records (for which we had to have complete blood work and physicals, which entailed a young male doctor handling me roughly about the private parts, again ... seriously, do doctors really have to be so interested in junk all the time?), reference checks (which are currently in process), biographies, a questionnaire on why/how we will be good parents, and a few other odds and ends. We are now waiting for our social worker to contact us to get the home study process rolling. So far, the process has been pretty straight forward and painless.
Along the infertility highway, we heard a lot of folks talk about the point we are at, and the relief associated with just giving up on the whole baby-making concept. I'll tell you that they were right - we haven't looked back since we made the decision to adopt, and it feels pretty damn good. A burden has been lifted, we have a sense of calm and peace with things, and we're no longer worried about what the next cycle will, or will not bring. I only wish we had made the decision sooner. I have steered clear of this blog in an effort to put the past behind us, and I intend to steer clear of it in the future. We're moving forward, and we're happy about it. We'd like to put the past on the shelf for a while, and leave it behind.
We still get a lot of "I know someone who adopted and found out they were pregnant right before they got their referral", which is annoying, but sort of comical because everyone who tells you that thinks they are so clever - they have good intentions, but yeah, we've heard it like 200 times. Across the board, however, our news has been greeted with extreme delight from everyone we've shared it with. When you tell someone you are in the process of adopting a baby from Korea, it almost always catches them by surprise before they respond with a very sincere "That's really cool - great for you guys." Seriously - people dig it when you plan to adopt from Korea. We expect a similar result after we actually have our baby - we will forevermore be those two white people walking down the street with a Korean baby, and most intelligent people will think "They must have adopted - how nice." And we will walk down the street knowing that we are two white people who adopted from Korea, and we will think "We adopted - how very nice indeed."
Thanks to everyone who has read this lame blog ... I've enjoyed your comments and support. And to those of you who are still in the running to overcome infertility, I with you good luck, but recommend you relax and realize that the worst possible outcome really isn't that bad after all - my wife and I are an example of that. Besides, we would welcome you to the club - we will need help saving all the South Korean babies from that crazy Kim Jon-Il son-of-a-bitch ...
... and that's the line with which I end the blog "IVF - A Husband's Perspective"