In the garage ...

There is a bag on the workbench in our garage that contains a t-shirt. The t-shirt says "America's Next Top Mommy" The bag is a shipping bag and it sits exactly where it landed after being tossed by my wife the day we learned our first round of IVF had failed. Not sure if I'll ever move that bag for any reason other than changing oil in the car.

On an unrelated note, I'm starting to think about new years resolutions and our second round of IVF and how I might optimize my reforms by taking advantage of the overlapping objectives of each endeavor. These thoughts were prompted by another IVF blog from the male perspective in which the author described his Doctor's orders to abstain completely from caffeine, and limit alcohol intake to less than 2 drinks per week. Now, this conflicts with what we were told by Dr. S.- I asked about both substances, and how I should impede my enjoyment of them during the build up to our first round. He very casually replied that it would be okay to have a few drinks each week, so long as I didn't over do it (didn't specify "not to exceed" volume) and he actually encouraged me to drink caffeine, saying it was good for sperm (according to some study they did) My issue is with morphology, not counts or motility - perhaps this is why he didn't discourage me to partake of the substances (perhaps they have no detrimental effect on shape?) Either way, it was all very casual and ad hoc, leaving me with the feeling that the quantity of these two inputs would have little effect on the outcome of our procedure. So, I commenced with partaking in drink, but not to the point of excess. I did, however, drink a lot of coffee as the 12 hour days require it ... I'm still drinking a Venti coffee each morning and a double shot of espresso in the afternoons. If I need to quit this stuff, I need to do it soon so I can detox my system prior to leaving my sample for round 2. Perhaps I should just do it anyways, prior to receiving word from the Doctor?

Either way, I'm hoping that our next round includes some specific directions on how much (not) to drink, whether or not to drink caffeine, any vitamins I should or should not take, etc. Even if the Doctors don't have an indication on specific volumetric measurements that should be undercut, I would still like absolute, crystal clear direction from them on every variable that could impact our chances at achieving pregnancy. If they prescribe our lifestyle in such a way, at will at least be able to take solace in the fact that I have controlled those things that I could to the best of my ability.

Nothing on tap for the weekend other than a bottle of wine with my wife tonight over dinner - I can't wait ... feels like we haven't spent any time together in several weeks. I miss her very much.