Monday, January 14, 2008

Hairspray

If you're a guy and you're reading this, and if you value your masculinity even a little, please don't ever buy the movie Hairspray for your wife. If you ignore this advice you will forever have songs like "Good Morning Baltimore" and "You Can't Stop The Beat" stuck in your head alongside images of Travolta in a fat-suit dancing around with Queen Latifah. And after enough viewings (which there will be WAY MORE than you could ever care to imagine after your wife establishes absolute, tyrannical control of the DVD player, remote and TV) you will even start to like it a little. Emphasis on LITTLE.

I tried to nip this situation in the bud by giving my wife's copy to my sister-in-law, convincing my wife it would be okay because she bought the fullscreen version and should really get the widescreen version for better viewing on our TV at home. This only resulted in my wife purchasing the widescreen version on our very next trip to Target as well as the soundtrack, which we had to listen to on the way home and immediately watch the DVD once we got there!

How does this relate to infertility? Come on ... there's no way such an environment can be even remotely beneficial to sperm development. I would guess my morphology issues have been compounded by the fact that my sperm are wearing skirts and singing showtunes - they're dancing to the songs stuck in my head when they should be swimming.

1 comment:

Terri H said...

Oh come on, you at least love her enough to buy her Hairspray in the first place.

For the sake of testosterone development, do you have your own space for power tools, Terminator and German Berr Drinking music?