Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Stage Fright

A post completely unrelated to infertility follows -

Just returned from a trip to the rest room where I caused a young gentleman to have a case of stage fright. This restroom has two urinals and two stalls. Normally when there are only two urinals and one is occupied, a polite guy will take one of the stalls instead of the lone open urinal. It's just awkward to relieve yourself so close to another man. Unfortunately, I was already committed to the urinal before I could fully process the situation and react accordingly. Rather than make an awkward retreat to the stall, I decided to tough it out at the second of two urinals.

I stepped up hoping that I would not seize up myself. During the initial seconds of the pee, I tried to relax and just let things flow. I've had stage fright myself a few times, mostly at Michigan State football games where there are huge troughs that the guys line up at and let er rip. Today I was fortunate to experience good flow in relatively short order, but I couldn't help but notice the fellow next to me was not producing. The bathroom we were in is particularly small. It's quiet and cramped in there ... so when one is not doing what he's supposed to do at the urinal, the lack of sound makes it painfully obvious to everyone in the vicinity. To help the guy out, I tried looking around, acting all nonchalant, while pushing harder in an effort to shorten my stay ... I almost wanted to urge him to relax, and give him a bit of a pep talk. He just hung in there (no pun intended) and waited until I wrapped up and left. In the past when afflicted with this problem, I've simply packed up, acting like I had gone, opting to hold it for a little while longer, immediately retreating to a bathroom on another floor, or in another part of the building. I hope this poor guy has managed to finish by now. What a brave soldier he is to see his task through to completion. Admirable.


MamaSoon said...

That is hilarious. We'll know you've gone girl, if you go and ask him if he wants to go to the bathroom with you. LOL!

Annie said...


It is stories like that that make grateful for the fact I'm a girl. I get stage fright when there is someone in a stall next to me. I wouldn't cope at a urinal LOL

Victor said...

I think this is an affliction called 'Shy Bladder' and I have it bad too. I literally cringe when I enter the bathroom at work and there's someone at the urinal when I head up to it without thinking and having enough time to change course towards a stall. The worst is when you tighten up involuntarily and you can't relax no matter how much you push. Usually if I am able to get a little going the rest follows easily but that's relatively rare for me. I have to say that it doesn't help that dudes at work always think it's a great time to talk about business while standing next to each other at the urinal. WTF! paww