Tuesday, February 24, 2009

To my wife, on the eve of a big day

I know that the last two years have been so much harder for you than they have been for me. I've stood by your side month, after month, after month, watching you curse pregnant people, swear at / throw away Pottery Barn Kids magazines, and middle-finger pictures of other people's kids on your iPhone Facebook application. You want to be a mother more than anything in the world, and it kills me that you have yet to become one.

In spite of the fact that it has been harder for you than it has for me, there is one thing of which I have become quite painfully aware: What makes infertility difficult is the uncertainty, and endless cycles of hope destroyed. The "what if", "maybe", "I hope" roller coaster is torture, and I've ridden it with you.

Given that this uncertainty is a part of our lives, and we might never get away from it, I want you to always be certain of one thing: I will always love you, I will always be here for you, and there are no "what ifs", "maybes" or "I hopes" about that - you can always depend on, and hold on to that one, sure thing. I love you.

Now let's go make a (test tube) baby.

7 comments:

SAH_mommy2three said...

What a lovely post to your wife. My prayers are with you that this is your month and the uncertainty is over.

Xbox4NappyRash said...

All the best from over here.

Heather said...

What a great post. This was the one thing I always needed to hear from my husband but was too afraid to ask for. I was always secretly afraid he would leave me for someone who could easily have kids. I hope this cycle ends your roller coaster ride (well, at least until the next child).

IdleMindOfBeth said...

Beautiful post!

Praying that you both can get off of this uncertain journey this cycle!

itsazooaroundhere said...

This is beautiful - I'm hoping your wife gets to read it? Thank you for sharing it!

S said...

what a lovely, awesome and heartfelt note to your wife.

hope the uncertainty ends for you both soon!

Mama Lenny said...

Incredible, moving post.